Mornin',
The natural biological, chemical, physiological, electrical tendency to follow/repeat/fall into existing neural patterns tends to be experienced as resistance when not following those patterns, when attempting to establish new patterns. This resistance is then anthropomorphized as meaningful, a struggle between dichotomous forces between right/wrong, good/bad, etc. We anthropomorphize our own bodies, our natural mammalian natures, as we do other mammals. The meaning we attribute to the sensation of the body responding naturally to its own needs and functions results in an emotional reaction that contributes to the confusion and counter-productive reactions.
Snackdragon and angry inner child aside, staying aware of the body's natural neural tendencies, removing the anxiety-producing highly emotional reaction to these tendencies, can help keep the process of changing neural patterns on a simple straightforward calm patient course. This reduction of reactionary emotional states makes choosing to weaken old patterns a simpler easier process and encourages the freedom to choose new paths, open to whatever I desire.
My practice starts with pausing in my existing pattern, opening the center, allowing the communication/sensing/feeling of what I truly desire at this moment (if truly from the center, this desire will always be positive and life-affirming), and then the point of initiation, the onset of acting on that desire. Even if acting on it only lasts five seconds, the fact of acting on it is the achievement, the learning. Before a new path can be established and lived, one needs to turn towards it, face it, and take that first step, over and over and over.
No amount of philosophizing, no amount of encouragement from someone else could substitute for that existential moment of taking the initiative...
M. Blaine Smith
Just a regular morning, ; )
Nancy
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